This work
is from: maddox@xmission.com. Thanks Maddox!
I
am better than your kids.
If
you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work
with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The
pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These
pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell,
do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously
superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work
done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through
F for each piece:
Megan,
age 4 |
First
of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be
a dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen. F |
Kyle,
age 8 |
You
spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn America
's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere,
traitor.F |
Lisa,
age 6 |
Holy
shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words:
too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit.F
|
Cameron,
age 4 |
Terrible.
F |
Bryce,
age 10 |
This
one wouldn't be too bad if the color was kept inside the lines,
you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked
someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to
give an A for effort but... F |
Jon,
age 8 |
Ding
Ding! Here comes the
shit-mobile.
I've never seen a
fire
truck that needed to be shaved.
I
would rather be burned to death
than
be saved by this hairy piece
of
shit. F |
Rachel,
age 7 |
That's
interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow
is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't
that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler.
F |
Jason,
age 6 |
This
one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw
as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed
patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. F |
Seth,
age 4 |
Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm!
F |
Kelly,
age 9 |
This
was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly,
now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried
to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find
all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously.
You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed
drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this
would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin
and some markers? F |
|
